crispy eddie haskell.

So FavoriteSon was invited to go to the beach with a bunch of friends. This is a big deal. Going to the beach without us. Not even with an organized, supervised school or church group, but rather two vehicles full of kids and two parents/drivers.

That would be some new freedom. His dad was fine with it. I wasn’t sure. Here’s the way the conversation went:

Me: “FavoriteSon, if you want more freedom and privileges, you need to demonstrate some personal responsibility, like for your own self-care. For instance, what is one of the most important things you would need to do if you spent the day at the beach without me or your dad?”

FavoriteSon: “uhhhmmmm. Not do anything that would be displeasing to God?”

PinkGirl: “I know! I know! Wear sunscreen?”

Me, to FavoriteSon: “Your sister can go.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like his answer too, but seriously – what a suck up. Eight years of Christian school can sure bring out the Eddie Haskell in a kid. I would LOVE it if he spent his day at the beach thinking about how he could please God, but he would still come home crispy. I continue the questioning:

Me: “What would you look for to find out if there’s a rip tide?”

FavoriteSon:“. . . waves?”

Me: “At the lifeguard chair . . . “

FavoriteSon: “a . . . sign?”

Me: “A red flag.“

Me: “What do you do if you’re caught in a rip tide?”

FavoriteSon: ” . . . relax?”

Me: “well, okay. Then what?”

FavoriteSon: “uhhhh”

Me: “Swim parallel to shore till you get out of it.”

FavoriteSon: “I KNEW THAT!”

Me: “umm hmm”

FavoriteSon: “REALLY! I KNEW THAT!”

Me: “You are so going to drown.”

Thankfully, the plans changed and they went to Wet-N-Wild instead. Lots of lifeguards, no rip tides. Just free water wedgies. We had to shell out $45 for a ticket, but it gets him in free for the rest of the year. I have a feeling PinkGirl and I will be buying the same ticket this summer.

Anyone want to hang out at Wet-N-Wild? I like me a l a z y river. Float. Walk backwards for exercise between lifeguards. Rinse, repeat.

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Need a few more chuckles today? Check out Friday Funnies hosted by Homesteaders Heart!

If you’ve got time to hang out for a few minutes, check out what else makes me laugh: Pragmatic Compendium’s “laugh!” category.

This was dual posted at Pragmatic Commotion, my “family” blog.

H-Day: April 30th.

That would be the date for what I’m hoping is the final “ectomy” in my life. I’ve had a myomectomy and a polypectomy to remove my pesky fibroid tumors in the past but they always come back.

I’m finally taking away their home forever.

I’m impressed with how fast this is happening. I made the decision in late January and just a few short months later . . .

I banked a unit of my blood on Friday afternoon! That’s a big deal because of my low iron. I passed my iron test and I didn’t even study for it. My doctor is very conservative and wanted me to bank two units of my own blood just in case. I’ve done it for my past surgeries and ended up not needing to use it, so hopefully the same will be true for this surgery. (Donating your own blood for later use is called autologous donation.)

This time, I had to work a little to stop the bleeding. I’ve never had that happen before. I had to use ice and extended pressure and today my arm looks pretty bad. I guess from where the blood kinda backed up under my skin? It’s a big, oblong, purple/yellow bruise, a little over 3 inches from one end to the other. I’ll spare you the photo, it’s not pretty.

I’m seriously wiped out today. I did an hour of strength training and it was a LONG hour. I was definitely weaker than normal. It took some determination to get through the hour without wimping out. I recently read another blogger say she was able to hold a plank for two minutes and I was freakishly and competitively driven inspired to do the same. I was able to do a minute forty Friday morning and I was hoping to make it to two minutes today. yeah . . . no. A minute forty five. I’m supposed to do strength training again tomorrow. I’ll try again. I started sublingual B-12 supplements today so hopefully that will help.

I have 5 more appointments/tests before the big day, including a complete cardio workup.

I can’t wait for the other side of this surgery. No more fatigue. No more low iron. No more feminine hygiene products. EVER.

I should do a giveaway. Or a bonfire.

i’m ten years YOUNGER!

I’ve mentioned a few times that I do strength training with a personal trainer. It continues to be one of my “ACTION” items this year. I started a little over a year ago. The day after my 43rd birthday (I’m 44 now), I called a nearby gym to arrange personal training sessions.

Why at 43? My mother had a stroke a few months prior. She’s only 22 years older than me. I don’t want to get weaker as I get older. I want to keep up with my kids. I don’t want a handicap sticker on my car. I want to be healthy. Strong. Active.

The hard fact is that I am overweight. I never got back to my pre-pregnancy weight after my son was born. Even though I’ve been overweight all these years, I’ve always been under my own personal invisible panic number on the scale. My whole life (with the exception of pregnancy), I’ve stayed under this number. I knew if I got to this number I would freak out. In 2006, I passed that number by 10 pounds. The number is . . . 200 pounds.

I freaked out.

I’ll break this up into two parts. First, the changes I made (and continue to make) with regard to food. Then, what I’m doing about exercise.

FOOD.

First, I called Jenny Craig. I’m a Jenny Craig “lifer” and I needed help. I went on what I called “Jenny Watchers” which is a combination of Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. Basically, it is Weight Watchers, but I used the prepackaged Jenny Craig Food. I used Jenny Craig to get back down below the panic number again. I relearned what a portion size looks like. I was reminded to eat something about every 3 hours to keep my metabolism from dropping (it also helps the reflux too). I have a real good understanding of the nutritional info and good eating habits. Now, I am FINISHED with diets. I am just CHANGING the way I eat. Everyday. I can’t sustain a diet for the rest of my life. I need something reasonable I can live with – forever. I’m still learning, trying different techniques and recipes, incorporating new habits.

But I did “Jenny Watchers” for a few months – until summer vacation. It was the first week of August, 2007. I went on vacation at Walt Disney World, ate dinner at the best restaurants on property for 8 days and then didn’t get back to Jenny Craig for 6 weeks. Guess how much I gained after eating Disney food for a week and “normal” food for 5 weeks after that?

I lost 1 pound!

In five weeks. No dieting. Just living normally. After a week of eating DISNEY food!

So no more diets. Just changing the way I eat. The way our whole family eats.

Exercise was next.

I called about personal training sessions. Because I’ve met me. I need accountability. Let’s just say, the trainer at the nearby gym didn’t “get me” and leave it at that. So I called Bally. I joined Bally back in 1989 for something like $2000 (with unlimited tanning, of course) and after paying that off, they’ve been taking $5.33 a month out of my checking account for nearly 2 decades now. The only problem is that I moved a full 30 minutes away from the nearest Bally. But seriously. $5.33 a month. I just couldn’t cancel it. I just couldn’t do it.

So I called Bally. After briefly explaining the reason for my call, the manager asked:

“Do you prefer a male or a female trainer?”

“I don’t have a preference. I just want to maximize my time at the gym. I want to work multiple muscle groups at the same time. I’m not focused on losing weight. I want to be stronger and healthier and I feel like, if I accomplish that, the weight will take care of itself. And I need someone who can help me recognize the line between pushing myself and hurting myself.”

“I have just the person for you. I’ll have her call you when she gets in later today.”

So, later that day, TinyPowerHouse calls me and we arrange my first session.

That was over a year ago and I’ve been driving the 30 minutes to Bally twice a week to let her push me to my limits.

She is SO worth the drive! She’s really VERY good at what she does and a great fit for me. (The right trainer makes ALL the difference!) We rarely use weight machines. We use an adjustable step, dumbbells, weight bars, weight balls, a Bosu balance trainer, a balance ball and my own body weight. I have NEVER worked a lone muscle with her. I ALWAYS work multiple muscle groups when she is bossing me around. And EVERY session, we take it up a notch. EVERY session is challenging. Some might not like that, but I LOVE it. My thought is that if I’m going to pay for it – and make time for it – I’m going to make it COUNT – every time. I even bought a Bosu balance trainer for my house. I already had the dumbbells.

So, you may be wondering. After working with TinyPowerHouse for over a year, how much weight have I lost? Only 5 pounds.

BUT.

I’m down 10% body fat. 10%! Woooo Hoooo!

I read that we lose 10% muscle mass every decade as we age. If that ‘s true, I’m 10 years younger than I was when I started!

The real benefit for me is that I am stronger. I have more energy. More endurance. I am healthier. My body shape is different. I have visible muscle tone! And when I arm wrestle FavoriteSon, I still win. Although I have arthritis in my neck (an old laptop case/bookbag injury in MBA school), I rarely get into traction anymore. At the advice of my accountant, I asked my doctor if he thought strength training would help my neck. He did and wrote a letter indicating that for tax purposes. I found out I can even write it off as a medical expense through my business!

The speed bump in this endeavor is that on January 9th, Bally closed in my area and now the nearest one is 45 minutes away. So TinyPowerHouse and I have decided to continue working together and I’ll pay her directly. She makes more per hour, I pay less. She comes to my house, and tomorrow I’ll go to the community work out room in her complex. I even bumped up my sessions to three times/hours per week instead of two.

Now to add the cardio for some additional weight loss and to modify my evening eating habits, which currently are sabotaging my efforts. Since reading Simple Steps: 10 Weeks to Getting Control of Your Life: Health, Weight, Home, Spirit, my goal is to walk 20 minutes a day on the days I don’t do strength training – and I hope to sneak in some walking on the strength training days too. Some days, I’ll walk longer. Last quarter, I was up to an 18 minute mile and trying to get in 2 or 3 miles at a time but the block of time it required just wasn’t sustainable long term. I know I need some accountability, so I’m probably going to put a widget somewhere on the right indicating whether I’ve been physically active that day.

I’m not giving this up. nope. not giving this up. It’s working for me.

I do most of my strength training workouts while the kids are in school and my kids are old enough to leave home while I walk around the block (with my cell phone, of course).

But moms of babies? Moms of toddlers? You can do it too!

You can find a gym that has a childcare center – don’t settle for substandard care – and take your kiddos to the gym with you! Or take them for a walk in the stroller – just 20 minutes! Check for a “stroller workout” class in your area by going to www.strollerstrides.com or www.strollerfit.com! Can’t find a class? Try it on your own or with some friends using this workout! Or try a video like Mom-O-Rama Workout With Baby, Mom-o-Rama: Workout with Toddler, Mommy Baby Body Builders or Fitmom Postnatal Workout.

You can DO it!

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Want to learn cool tips and tricks from lots of different people? Click on over to Works for Me Wednesday hosted by Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer!

my new BFF.

That would be Jody at Infinite Health.

I feel SO. MUCH. BETTER.

Earlier today, the right side of my trapezius muscle felt like someone was holding a match to it. Burning pain. Not a happy day. The numbness and tingling in my arm were gone, but this was obviously some kind of sick side effect from the traction and the hanging upside down. I’m thinking the bones are slowly moving back to their correct address, but the muscles are slow to catch up.

Since taking a muscle relaxant in the middle of the day today would have totally messed up Little Red Riding Hood’s Halloween, I called Infinite Health to ask about medical massage. Long story short, I got an appointment less than 30 minutes later. I called my doctor’s office, which was closed for lunch and left a message asking them to please, please, pretty please fax a prescription for massage therapy to Infinite Health before the massage appointment was over. I was willing to pay for the massage no matter what, I’m telling you. But when I came out, the fax was waiting. My Doc is the BEST. I actually did have to pay up front, but we’ll see what the insurance company does. Infinite Health is listed as a provider, along with my new BFF, Jody. Even better? After we deciphered my Doc’s handwriting, do you know what the prescription said?

“Massage Therapy 2x week for 1 month.”

I can do the math on that one baby! EIGHT massages in ONE Month? Now I just need the insurance company to approve it. (oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please.)

I came home and drank LOTS of water to supposedly “flush” out the toxins (lactic acid). Admittedly, there’s controversy about whether this is beneficial, but how can it hurt to drink lots of water? Then I sat in my sauna to sweat it out. Drank more water and went in again.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my dry sauna. I got it on eBay years ago, when I was working full time and had disposable income. Someone went to a home show and won it, didn’t want it and I snapped it up. It’s my own little 4×6 foot cedar box of paradise.

So in case you’re keeping track:

One ruptured disc

VS.

cortesteroids
muscle relaxants
cervical traction
inversion table
massage therapy
gallons of water
dry sauna
strength training

I am competitive. I will win. Ruptured disc. pshh.

I feel like a bat.

I spent some time hanging upside down tonight and let me just say . . . ahhhh. My friend Heidi let me borrow her Teeter Hang Ups F5000 Inversion Table and after a few minutes of watching FavoriteSon finagle it into the back of my van, we got it home, adjusted it for my height and weight and I spent some time hanging. Twice. So let me say again. ahhhh.

I went to see my doctor on Thursday, and he believes I have a ruptured disc in my neck. I’ve been on some serious cortosteroids and a nightly muscle relaxant. Before Thursday, there was numbness and tingling from my neck to my fingertips on my right arm and hand. My doctor, an osteopath (they also do chiropractic care) performed some serious neck cracking. And some more. And some more. ahhhh.

His words? “I don’t think there was one bone in your neck that was where it was supposed to be.”

and

“No more jogging. You can walk. But no more jogging.”

I’m not sure what happened, but I would bet it started with sorting hundreds of books at the Whale of a Sale. Then I upped my cardio workout by including some jogging. I had been walking 3 to 5 miles a few times a week, but for the last four weeks, I’ve been doing interval training. I would jog for about 30 to 45 seconds to increase my heart rate and then walk for a few minutes. Rinse and repeat a few times in my 30 to 60 minute walk and I thought I was doing pretty well. I was jogging longer without wimping out. Unfortunately, my neck and arm pain, the numbness and the tingling were getting progressively worse. And for some stupid reason, I didn’t make the connection.

The neck, shoulder and arm pain aren’t new. I have arthritis in my neck, stemming from an old MBA injury. It was 1994. There was a full book bag hanging on one shoulder and a prehistoric laptop (which weighed as much as a dinosaur) hanging from the other shoulder. There was wrenching and pain. A doctor visit and muscle relaxants. Over the years, there have been stupid choices, resulting in a few days of rest (on muscle relaxants). And for the last few years, there’s been arthritis.

But the numbness and tingling made me nervous. Doc says that if I’m not feeling better in 10 days, I have to have an MRI. I HATE those. Listening to a jack hammer while I’m trapped in a torpedo tube is NOT my idea of a good time. If I have to have one, I’m finding one of those open MRI places.

But I digress and the muscle relaxant is kicking in. What was I saying again?

I remember. I’m going to do EVERYTHING I’m supposed to do to heal. I’m taking the cortosteroids and the muscle relaxant. I’m not jogging or jumping on a pogo stick or doing anything “jarring” to the neck. I’m using my Pronex Cervical Traction Device

And just a few notes. First, no, that is not me in the Pronex device. That is not how I look when I’m in traction. That is not the facial expression of anyone in traction. Secondly, I did NOT pay $339 for mine. They were even more expensive before the Pronex II came out. Back then, they were $450 and you know I am WAY to cheap to pay that much. I got mine on eBay for $80. Somebody was in a car accident, completed treatment and then sold it. Back then, you were supposed to get a doctor’s prescription for it. (I don’t know about now.) I figured his order to go to a physical therapist for traction twice a week was close enough.

So in addition to all that, now, thanks to Heidi, I’m also hanging upside down like a bat.

Does anyone know how to blog upside down?

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Want to learn “what works” for lots of different people? Click on over to Works for Me Wednesday hosted by Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer!

“. . . therefore I quote.” Memarie Lane and Kathy Peel

I read, therefore I quote. It’s what I do.

I’ve been quoting books, but this gem from Memarie Lane was just too good to pass over just because it didn’t come bound or with an ISBN number:

“A day for me is like a Rubix Cube. Several patterns in several dimensions that have to be solved in tandem. Lining up one pattern may discombobulate another, so I have to keep it all in balance. Hopefully, by the end of the day I’ll have it all sorted out, though the next morning all that work will be undone again.”

Marie Du Jour
by Memarie Lane

Thinking about my main job these days – not my consulting, but my main job as a Family Manager, I have Kathy Peel to thank for the way I view it and the consistent awareness that what I do has value. My quote today is the crux of Kathy’s (and subsequently my) philosophy on the role of Family Manager.

Although there are days when I miserably fail to meet my goals (and I mean MISERABLY), I start over again the next day with a clean slate. Every little change adds up. It was much more difficult to consistently pair my goals with action when my kids were toddlers and preschoolers. There’s so much “reaction” parenting sometimes. You have to react to something you didn’t expect, like a golf ball through the fish tank. (That’s another post.) Now that my kids are taking more ownership of their own lives, washing their own hair and wiping their own . . . It’s easier.

So, although I don’t always meet them, these words have been the cornerstone for my goals for many, many years:

“I wrote down all of my chores and responsibilities – whether they had to do with our house, clothing, children, relatives, bank accounts, pantry, schools, vacations, furniture, holidays, etc., (the list was very long) – and studied them. Then I tried to place each item on the list into a general department, similar to those of a business. I wanted to see if any patterns emerged. The did. As a matter of fact, seven distinct departments emerged that made a lot of sense to me as a Family Manager.

Time – managing time and schedules – getting the right people to the right places at the right time – so that our household can run smoothly. (UPDATED VERSION INCLUDES: with the right equipment.)

• Goals: To see each day, each hour, each minute as a gift, not to be irresponsibly “spent,” but “used” in a purposeful way. Learn to use small blocks of time to accomplish big tasks. To stop wasting time with meaningless activities. To think and plan ahead so as to eliminate as much chaos and stress as possible from our daily life.

Food: efficiently, economically and creatively meeting the daily food and nutritional needs of my family.

• Goals: To provide tasty, nutritious meals for our family. And even if the food isn’t gourmet, to make mealtimes especially enjoyable times when we share laughter, tears, dreams, ideas – our worlds, as a family.

Home & Property: overseeing the maintenance and care of all our tangible assets, including personal belongings, the house, and its surroundings.

• Goals: To appreciate and take care of all of our belongings in such a way that we can enjoy them as much as possible and they will last as long as possible. To create, through the decor and furnishings of our home, a warm and welcoming atmosphere for family and friends.

Finances – managing budgets, bill-paying and a host of other money issues.

• Goals: To be alert for practical ways every day to live by the motto “Make as much as you can, save as much as you can, give as much as you can.” To live within our budget and spend less than we make.

Special Projects – coordinating large and small projects—birthdays, holidays, vacations, garage sales, family reunions—that fall outside the normal family routine.

• Goals: To plan occasions and events to celebrate the special moments of life, and create and carry on family traditions. To put making memories high on our priority list. To make sure I (and others) aren’t so overwhelmed with trying to do it right we don’t have any fun.

Family Members and Friends – dealing with family life and relationships, and acting as a teacher, nurse, counselor, mediator, and social chairman. (UPDATED VERSION INCLUDES: child rearing, education, marriage, friends, neighbors, and aging parents.)

• Goals: To always remember that relationships are the most important thing in life, that people are more important than projects. To help those closest to me develop their full potential by providing opportunities for their growth and valuing them as individuals. To be, to the best of my ability, a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, relative, friend, and neighbor.

Personal Management – growing and caring for myself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. (I figured that if I’m going to manage everything else, I’ve got to manage myself.)

• Goals: To strive to develop my full potential as a woman. To be an avid reader and a lifelong learner, to exercise regularly and eat wisely, to schedule times for personal recreation and refreshment, to grow in my knowledge of God. To take good care of myself and remind myself regularly of my value as a human being.”

The Family Manager
by Kathy Peel

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“. . . therefore I quote” Thursday: If you have a quote to share from something you’ve read recently, feel free to comment and/or include a link to your own “quote” post.

Need help making your link look pretty in the comment? Copy and use this code.

toe walking advantage

FavoriteSon is FAST. I mean REALLY fast. Check out the photos on Pragmatic Commotion in the post “that’s what I’m TALKIN’ about!“. (I take better photos when I’m not screaming “GO! RUN!! RUN!! RUN!!! THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!!!” I should probably also look through the lens instead of directly at the field.)

While I am hugely proud of him, I must be honest. He’s got an advantage.

Idiopathic toe walking.

There are a few causes for toe walking, including autism and cerebral palsy, but in this case, FavoriteSon gets it from his dad. The physical condition is caused by tight/short heel cords (Achilles tendon). FirstHusband doesn’t walk on his toes anymore, and we always figured FavoriteSon would also outgrow it. And he has, somewhat.

A few years ago, when he was 9, he had a few months of physical therapy and it really helped. After years of toe walking, his body had adjusted and his hip flexors were tight also. So when he stood on what we, in our family, call “regular feet” with his heels on the floor, he was bent forward at the waist at about a 45 degree angle. As he went back up on his toes, he stood straight and tall. We had been monitoring the condition since he began walking and he always hated going to the pediatrician because he would be asked to walk on his heels and it was very uncomfortable. His condition had remained fairly constant until he went through a growth spurt at around 9 years old. When he dropped to his heels and bent over at a 45 degree angle, we determined he needed to see a specialist. The specialist first recommended physical therapy and if that failed, possibly surgery. When the doctor explained that the surgery would involve poking lots and lots of holes in the muscle and then wearing braces on his legs as the muscle healed, FavoriteSon decided he did NOT want surgery. Thankfully, the physical therapy made a huge difference. It was hard work. And it was very uncomfortable. And he complained. But after a few months, he bent forward at about a TEN degree angle when he dropped down onto his heels. A ten degree angle wasn’t enough to warrant surgery. FavoriteSon was VERY happy. And he knew exactly what he had to do when he went through another growth spurt. He had to stretch those muscles to catch up with the bone growth.

This is the winning stretch for him:

And how is he now? Walking on your toes for 13 years makes for some strong calves. And running without putting your heel down first? Makes for some FAST sprinting. So the boy can SPRINT. Sustained running? no. He can’t run much farther than a mile at a time without his heel cords “burning” as he puts it. So, he runs track, not cross country. And he HATES jogging. I was talking with a friend (who is a runner) about his condition and she said, “OH! So he’s already up there!” Yes. He’s always up there.

I can pick him out in a crowd or across a football field because I can recognize his gait. He still walks on his toes, but only slightly. And he can stand heels down without bending over at the waist.

His biggest problem now? His nickname on the football field. “Prancer.” pshhh. A fat man in a red suit can catch “Prancer.” Don’t be calling him Prancer when I’m in earshot. I protect my young.

Walkin’ Songs: You Can Call Me Al

It’s NOT RAINING!!!!

So I can get back to walking. I’ve been pretty sporadic with the walking but the week before TS Fay, I had logged 20 miles! Then last week – only 3 miles before getting rained out. I have an iRiver mp3 player, but it was too big to take walking, so a couple of months ago, I picked up a little RCA Pearl for $30 at Walmart. (I got a blue one.)

It’s got 1GB of flash memory, which means it holds about 340 songs and it runs for about 35 hours on one AAA battery. The software is annoying, so I just used Windows Explorer instead. I get bored if I walk to the same music all the time, so I skip around quite a bit.

Here’s one of my favorite walking songs (today). This video was so cute! I love the subtle way Chevy Chase puts stuff “on” the drum stand like it’s a table.