expensive tedium exposed.

I’ve been reading a little C. S. Lewis lately. Today I read the November 1st and 2nd entries from “A Year with C. S. Lewis: Daily Readings from His Classic Works.” He’s a tough read. I may have mentioned before that I respond to his writing in a number of different ways.

Sometimes, I think he’s a pompous windbag who delights in using words the common man (that’d be me) has to look up in a very old dictionary because the newer dictionaries have already stopped including said words due to lack of use. (This is why I sometimes refer to him as “Jack,” as his friends called him. It reminds me that he’s just a guy and that I need to take what he says with a grain of salt, as the saying goes.)

Sometimes I have to read a phrase or a sentence or an entire paragraph multiple times before I have half a clue what the man is trying to say.

Sometimes I understand immediately what he’s saying and I adamantly disagree.

So why read him?

Because when the man DOES make a point with me, it often resonates. He sometimes states something so succinctly that it hits the core of my belief in a certain area. Thankfully, those moments occur more often than the windbag, re-read and adamantly disagree moments.

One book that consistently hits home is a small work of fiction entitled “The Screwtape Letters.” It’s a series of letters from an older demon (Uncle Screwtape) to a younger demon (Wormwood), advising him on how to bring about the downfall of the human (the patient) to whom the younger demon has been assigned. It’s a backward concept for the Christian reader, especially when Lewis consistently refers to God as the “Enemy.” His assessment of human nature and temptation makes me think. Case in point:

When the patient repents, Screwtape outlines Wormwood’s blunders:

“…you first of all allowed the patient to read a book he really enjoyed, because he enjoyed it and not in order to make clever remarks about it to his new friends. In the second place you allowed him to walk down to the old mill and have tea there – a walk through country he really likes, and taken alone. In other words, you allowed him two real positive Pleasures. Were you so ignorant as not to see the danger in this? …

…you were trying to damn your patient by the World, that is by palming off vanity, bustle, irony and expensive tedium as pleasures. How can you have failed to see that a real pleasure was the last thing you ought to have let him meet? Didn’t you foresee that it would just kill by contrast all the trumpery which you have been so laboriously teaching him to value?

And that sort of pleasure which the book and the walk gave him was the most dangerous of all? That it would peel off from his sensibility the kind of crust you have been forming on it, and make him feel that he was coming home, recovering himself?

As a preliminary to detaching himself from the Enemy, you wanted to detach him from himself, and had made some progress in doing so. Now, all that is undone.

…the man who truly and disinterestedly enjoys any one thing in the world, for its own sake, and without caring two-pence what other people say about it, is by that very fact forearmed against some of our subtlest modes of attack. You should always try to make the patient abandon the people or food or books he really likes in favour of the ‘best’ people, the ‘right’ food, the ‘important’ books.”

I get it. Thanks, Jack.

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Have you read something interesting you want to share? I want to read it! If you post about it, link up in comments – or just post your quote in a comment. Check out other book quotes I’ve posted by perusing my “therefore I quote” tag.

what I learned this week. 09-30-09

I need to listen to that still, small voice I hear. Even when it makes no sense.

God can bless me by asking me to give away my van. He can bless me beyond my wildest imagination.

I can be happy – really HAPPY – even when I have no vehicle and no plan for how to get one.

The biggest thing I learned this week?

Blessings require change. And faith. And courage.

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To find out what others learned this week, check out What I Learned this Week hosted by Musings of a Housewife.

the relentless pursuit of a “good day.”

I wonder if I’ve always seen seasons in my life. Looking back, I don’t remember ever feeling anxious for certain times in my life to be over. I’ve hated a job or two and couldn’t wait for them to be over, I’ve hated a class or two and couldn’t wait for them to be over, but in the seasonal aspect of my life, I feel like I’ve always been comfortable right where I am.

I’ve been a long time true believer in the concept that “Life is a journey, not a destination.” I have a framed print in my living room with the words “Life is a journey.” on the top left corner. It’s a photo of a dad and his toddler son. The dad is painting the wall. The toddler is to his left, coloring on the newly painted wall. It was a two page Nissan magazine ad, I called a 1800 number to get a (free) copy of the print back in the 90’s and had it framed. “Life is a journey” is something I’ve believed for a very, very long time. I believe that everything I’ve experienced – the good and the bad – has led me to the person I am today.

Because I see life through this lens, I try to sincerely pay attention, and really ENGAGE in what’s happening today. I also have this overshadowing perspective that time is FLYING by. Thankfully, I haven’t experienced a personal crisis that threw me face to face with what’s important. But I have paid attention when friends have faced serious illness and death. My focus has been strengthened even more by Rachel Barkey’s testimony. I have a deep realization of what matters to me and try to make decisions based on those priorities.

One priority? My kids.

I didn’t have my son until I was 30. I had completed my education and had started working on my career. It went well. Launching my business in 1994 brought wonderful blessings, personal, professional and financial. I’ve been through some changes with regard to my work status as I do my best to stay true to my commitment to my family. As my family’s needs change, I adapt. But work is another post. This is about family.

Older women told me that the years with kids at home would fly by. We hear that so often as young mothers, covered in baby spit up and smelling like a combination of day old b.o., curdled milk, peanut butter and playdoh and we think, “yeah, yeah, yeah, I need a shower! and a nap. and some solitude.” And I really did need a shower and a nap. I desperately needed a little solitude. Sometimes I got them on the same day I needed them. Sometimes not.

But I KNEW it was true. These days are FLYING by! There’s an urgency about this time with my kids. I don’t want to waste it. I don’t want to let it slip by, while I focus on things that, in the big picture, just don’t matter. I’ve been on the other end of that kind of mothering. I fiercely don’t want that for myself or my kids. I said FIERCELY.

I get to the end of a day and really, really want to have used it well. Some days I look back and see myself saying and doing things I wish I hadn’t. But I have no patience (or time) to wallow in regret. I just tell my kids I was wrong and I’m sorry. Then I start over and try again the next day. Sometimes I don’t even wait for the day to end before I start over. Sometimes I catch myself in the middle of the day and change gears right then. But no matter what I say and do in my effort to achieve “a good day” there’s always been one underlying foundation. I feel like I’ve always done it, but it took a conversation with a client a few years ago to make me conscious of it.

The kids were little. FavoriteSon was 7 and PinkGirl was 18 months old. I remember because I was working at a client site during a firm wide computer upgrade in the summer of 2002. I was with another contractor, in an attorney’s office and the contractor asked: “Mr. W, how did you get such great kids?” Mr. W thought quietly for a few seconds and said:

“Well, you know, I’ve always respected them, no matter how old they were. I’ve always been interested in what they think and how they feel. I’m interested in what interests them. I just really enjoy spending time with them, whether we’re doing some activity together or just hanging out. I think they’re really great people.”

As I listened to Mr. W, I suddenly understood why I cared that a Charmander evolved into a Charmeleon and then into a Charizard. Because FavoriteSon cared. I knew why I actually spent a Friday night reading the entire Official Pokemon Manual to determine whether I would allow FavoriteSon to get into the Pokemon phenomenon. (My favorite Pokemon is a Jigglypuff. When they sing, they put you to sleep and then draw all over your face. Yes. I have a favorite Pokemon.) It’s why I watch every TV show my kids like. (They don’t watch that many shows.) We have a lot to talk about when I watch their TV shows. Learning opportunities abound. I listen to their music. I make FavoriteSon Google song lyrics for our approval before he’s allowed to download music. I made FavoriteSon “friend” me on Facebook.

I want to know anything they want to tell me. Because, someday – someday sooner than I would like – they aren’t going to tell me so much.

So in the middle of all this, I try to make the everyday a “good day.” Sure there’s the dishwasher to load and unload – again. And the laundry – with the man stank of football season. And the bathroom floor, the cat hair on the stairs, kicking a path through toys in PinkGirl’s room, the homework, the kid chauffeuring, the kid bickering, the lunch packing, and whatever that smell is in my van. I tire of this list. You get the idea.

But the thing is, this is life. This stuff happens. E V E R Y day. I can’t stop it. But when it does stop, it will be OVER. And I believe older women when they tell me they remember it as a GOOD time in their life, some even say it was the BEST time in their life. In that frame of reference, this time is so short!

I am COMPELLED to make “good days” in the middle of this fast paced, ever changing thing I call my life. It is so funny how the kids, when asked about what they remember about their past, come up with the simplest of things. Dragging the kitchen table into the family room and covering it with blankets to make a tent in front of the TV. Sending in bowls of popcorn. Leaving the table there for hours because I really had no compelling reason to put it back. Knowing as I handed the popcorn through the blankets that there would be vacuuming in my future.

I’ve spent this regular ol’ Monday afternoon with my daughter while FavoriteSon was at football practice. She and I picked him up, greeting him with a cold Gatorade. I started this post while she was doing her homework and now, as I finish it up and FavoriteSon is in the shower, I hear my husband and daughter in the next room. She’s cracking up. He’s blowing a raspberry on her belly. It’s a school night and there are still lunches to pack, clothes to lay out, showers to finish and prayers to say. Homework is done, dinner is done, the kitchen is trashed. Again. Monday night football for FavoriteSon and FirstHusband. Reading for PinkGirl and myself.

It was a good day.

WFMW: office chairs at the kitchen table.

We’ve made a big change here at Casa Aqua (the name Casa Aqua is a long story. Suffice it to say we are no strangers to dehumidifiers and industrial carpet fans). We ditched our straight backed wooden slat chairs (as comfy as they were) and have purchased four office desk chairs for our kitchen table. Take a look:

Last year we experienced a shift in homework time-continuum as FavoriteSon tried different locations to complete his homework. Neither of my kids likes to be isolated during homework time. Neither of them want a desk in their room to do said homework. I’m sure it’s because they just can’t bear to be apart from me.

(convincing and heartfelt pause)

Bwahahahaha!!!

But seriously, this is a good thing. Because they both tend to “daydream” (code word for mild ADD) and I find myself asking “Are you distracted?” “Whatcha doing?” and “Status report, please.” when I see them doing anything BUT homework.

By the end of last year, FavoriteSon’s homework location of choice was MY reading spot:

Reading Spot

He complained that the chairs at both our kitchen table and our dining table made his back hurt. I couldn’t disagree with him. So, we sometimes let him do his homework while sitting here. By the end of these evenings, he was sprawled across the loveseat, eyes drooping, pretty much useless. We would send him to bed and wake him up early to finish in the morning. On the days we forced him to sit at a table, the whining was frequent and escalating, extending the time he spent doing the homework in the chairs of pain. (physical pain for him, a whole NUTHER kind of pain for us.)

This year, we had a plan. We took the kids to Staples and Office Depot to pick out chairs. FavoriteSon settled right into a $90 chair. A little steep, but we agreed with the condition that he N E V E R complain about the seating for homework again. And that he MUST A L W A Y S sit at the kitchen table to do his homework.

PinkGirl kept picking out cushy velour chairs FirstHusband and I vetoed every one, envisioning a daily task of removing crusty food from an increasingly hard and stained surface. ewww.

We finally found a $70 chair for her that was COMPLETELY adjustable. The seat goes up and down and tilts forward and backward. The back goes forward and backward as well as up and down. The entire chair moves up and down. And the arms are adjustable.

Of course, it didn’t match FavoriteSon’s chair. And while I’m not opposed to the quirkiness of this “office chairs in the kitchen” idea, I DO have some sense of aesthetics (aka decorating), so we opted to get two and two. FavoriteSon and I have the same chair and FirstHusband and PinkGirl have the same chair. (So what do you think? Do I need a more contemporary table now? I can’t decide.)

Two evenings of homework and so far, so good.

And yes. I am sure I see scratches on the floor already. But I do not care. This floor has had “character” for years now. When my kids are grown and have moved out, I will have a beautiful kitchen floor. But in the words Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen): “It is not THIS day!”

And I’m okay with that. This works for me – and my family.

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Find more ideas over at Works for Me Wednesday, hosted by Kristen at We Are THAT Family. MY previous Works for Me Wednesday posts are HERE.

Works for Me Wednesday posts prior to February 2009 are archived at Rocks In My Dryer.

Rachel Barkey is Home.

Rachel Barkey went home to her Lord on July 2, 2009 at 37 years of age.

I wrote about her before, in a posted entitled “55 minutes.” I linked to her testimony.

I challenge you, I encourage you, I beg you – to take 55 minutes out of the busyness and redundancy of daily life and think on these things.

Here’s minute 48:

“I am dying.

But so are you.

Neither of us knows if we will even see tomorrow. And perhaps the reason that I am suffering now, the reason that God is waiting to bring judgment against all the evil in this world is because he is waiting for you. For you to acknowledge your sin and to turn to him for forgiveness.

Maybe YOU are the one we are waiting for.

Jesus suffered. God did not spare him. Why would he spare me? If my suffering would result in good for you? If my suffering is the means that God would use to bring even one person to himself, it is an honor for me to suffer.

Does that seem strange?

I suppose it does.

But really, it is the only way that all of this makes any sense at all.

A God who sees my suffering but is is unable, or worse, unwilling to spare me? A God who sees my suffering but allows it? With no greater purpose or hope? My God is able to save me and he will. But save me from what?

From a life without him.“

In the end, she stated that her goal was to “finish well.”

If you watch her testimony and it impacts your life as it did mine, it will be even more evidence that she achieved her goal.

Her funeral service will be held on Wednesday, July 8, at 1 p.m. at St. John’s Shaughnessy Church in Vancouver, BC. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Child of Mine (www.childofmine.ca) or World Vision (www.worldvision.ca).

Daybook: Monday, 07.06.09

Peggy at The Simple Woman’s Daybook is taking the summer off, but I decided to go ahead and post a Daybook entry anyway.

Outside my window . . . the mailbox flag is still up. The mail man carrier is two hours late. Probably due to extra deliveries because of the July 4th holiday on Saturday.

I am thinking . . . about all I need to do. And then pushing it all aside for a little prayer and Bible study time in between dropping off and picking up two kids at two day camps in two different locations.

I am thankful for . . . our abundant blessings. Too many to count:

All in my little family have faith in God and strive to live in His will.
Our physical health.
My husband’s job stability and my loyal clients.
Our material blessings – our home and its air conditioning.
Electronic appliances we often take for granted – our cell phones, computers, mp3 players, microwave, dishwasher, washer/dryer, game systems. Ice maker.
Reliable, paid for vehicles.
The comfort, companionship and humor of our cats.

From the learning rooms . . .

My Utmost for His Highest, July 5th entry: “The one thing that keeps us from the possibility of worrying is bringing God in as the greatest factor in all our calculations.“

Psalm 37:5 “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.“

From the kitchen . . .No baking bread. Nothing in the crockpot. Leftovers tonight. Flowers on the table. So far. Soon, I will walk into the kitchen and hear a cat scramble off the table. I will then see half-eaten flowers on the table next to the vase. Later, the cat will puke flowers somewhere.

I am wearing . . . bermuda shorts and a tshirt. Hair up in a knot. Flip flops. It. Is. HOT. The tshirt is too hot. I need to change into something sleeveless.

I am creating . . . a computer macro for one of my clients. Fun. In a geeky sort of way.

I am going . . . to get the mail. I just heard the mail truck.

I am reading . . .

My Utmost For His Highest: Limited PB Edition by Oswald Chambers
Practically Perfect in Every Way: My Misadventures Through the World of Self-Help–and Back
Three to Get Deadly (Stephanie Plum, No. 3) by Janet Evanovich.

I am hoping . . . to find “delight” in something today. Like a rainbow. Or the smell of baking bread. Or . . . whatever. I’m looking for delight, so I know I will find it. That’s why I put flowers on the table.

And it’s why I just took a break from drafting this post and asked FavoriteSon to bake bread. (in the bread maker – it’s his “thing” in the family – He is such a great guy!)

I am hearing . . . my son. The kitchen timer went off and he immediately stopped playing his video game to unload the dishwasher and bring in the recycling bins. I didn’t even have to remind him. I told you I told you he was a great guy!!

Around the house . . .the wall art lettering came in the mail today!

One Two of my favorite things . . .

These Pentel pens. Easy flow, quick drying. My FAVORITE pen.

Cobalt blue glass. This sits next to my reading spot in the living room.

A few plans for the rest of the week:

Bible study and prayer time every day.
To NOT SPEND ANY MONEY all week.
Kid chauffeur duties.
Cleaning.
Purging the house of STUFF.
Invoicing.
Finishing up a client project.
Walk every day.

bah-donk-a-donk butt.

note to self: choose on purpose.

Summer can be a little busy. We can find ourselves out and about. And hungry.

Yesterday, I had a Quarter Pounder with Cheese for lunch. No fries, and with a Diet Coke, but still. Today, I had my FAVORITE salad, a Grilled Southwest WITH the southwest dressing even. So yesterday? 510 calories and 26 grams of fat. Today? 420 calories and 15 grams of fat. Still not great. But better. Not better than eating at home. But better than the day before. And really, that’s all I’m going for.   Better than the day before.   Baby steps. Baby steps. (and I’m filling out the exercise log again)

At McDonalds . . .
A Quarter Pounder with Cheese from McDonalds has 510 calories and 26 grams of fat.  (bah-donk-a-donk)
A Grilled Chicken Southwest Salad has 320 calories and 9 grams of fat.

The Southwest Dressing has 100 calories and 6 grams of fat.  (bah-donk-a-donk)
The Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing 40 calories and 3 grams of fat.

At Pollo Tropical . . .
The Caribbean Chicken Fajita Platter has 690 calories and 26 grams of fat.  (bah-donk-a-donk)
The Chicken Regular TropiChop® w/Yellow Rice & Vegetables has 330 calories and 5 grams of fat.

At Del Taco . . .
The Chicken Cheddar Quesadilla has 570 calories and 29 grams of fat.  (bah-donk-a-donk)
The plain ol’ Nachos have 370 calories and 21 grams of fat.  (bah-donk-a-donk)
A Taco has 130 calories and 7 grams of fat.
The Grilled Chicken Taco Del Carbon has 150 calories and 5 grams of fat.
(and this one’s for the rest of the family)
The Crispy Fish Taco has 300 calories and 17 grams of fat.  (bah-donk-a-donk)
(and this is for FirstHusband)
The Deluxe Taco Salad has 850 calories and . . . wait for it . . . 46 grams of fat.  (bah-donk-a-donk)

At Subway . . .
A Six Inch Turkey Breast Sandwich has 290 calories and 4 grams of fat.

YO! Julie! Go to Subway! Eat Fresh.

And avoid bah-donk-a-donk butt. (I love this commercial!)

55 minutes.

In the last few weeks, I’ve spent hours reading much on the paradox of evil and suffering vs. a loving and all powerful God. Hours. I’ve been thinking. learning. praying. blogging.

I began with the personal belief that God is loving, all-knowing and all-powerful – in spite of the evil and suffering in the world. I intentionally choose to accept this paradox. Intellectually, I don’t understand it. Emotionally, I hate it. Spiritually, I believe it.

But I was not ready.

Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you. [Peter 3:15]

I had no answer other than, “I don’t understand it. I hate it. But I believe it.”

Not very pragmatic. So I went to books, as usual. I seek knowledge, as usual. I read C.S. Lewis for the first time. (The Problem of Pain) I read Philip Yancy for the first time. (Where is God When It Hurts?) I read Lee Strobel for the first time. (The Case for Faith) I read Herbert Lockyer. (Dark Threads the Weaver Needs) I’ve got a book list including John Piper’s Spectacular Sins and others. I’m still reading and I’m sure I’ll continue blogging about my learning curve and thoughts. But.

Today I watched a 55 minute video and it pulled everything together. E V E R Y T H I N G.

I paused it. Rewinded a few times. Made notes. Typed minute 48. Minute 48 is compelling to be sure. But the truth is that the entire video is compelling.

If you have ever – EVER – considered the “Is this all there is?” question, I promise you that this 55 minutes of your time won’t be wasted. Randy Pausch’s last lecture pales.

Rachel Barkey is dying of cancer. She is 37. She has two children under 5 years old. This is her testimony. Four things she has learned:

Know God.
Know Yourself.
Know the Gospel.
Know your Purpose.

She says in her blog that she wants to “finish well.” Helping to share her message is one small thing I can do to help her finish well. I can also pray.

Don’t have 55 minutes in one sitting? Watch a little at a time. Break it up and watch each of these “things she’s learned” separately. I challenge you, I encourage you, I beg you – to take 55 minutes out of the busyness and redundancy of daily life and think on these things.

Here’s minute 48:

“I am dying.

But so are you.

Neither of us knows if we will even see tomorrow. And perhaps the reason that I am suffering now, the reason that God is waiting to bring judgment against all the evil in this world is because he is waiting for you. For you to acknowledge your sin and to turn to him for forgiveness.

Maybe you are the one we are waiting for.

Jesus suffered. God did not spare him. Why would he spare me? If my suffering would result in good for you? If my suffering is the means that God would use to bring even one person to himself, it is an honor for me to suffer.

Does that seem strange?

I suppose it does.

But really, it is the only way that all of this makes any sense at all.

A God who sees my suffering but is is unable, or worse, unwilling to spare me? A God who sees my suffering but allows it? With no greater purpose or hope? My God is able to save me and he will. But save me from what?

From a life without him.”

Rachel’s message contains my answer.

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Thank you JanMary for the link to this powerful video.

7 Quick Takes: 06.01.09

Kristen emailed me to make sure I was okay and I realized I hadn’t blogged in over a week!

Over a week! What have I been doing?

I missed 7 Quick Takes Friday last week, but it just seems like a good way to catch up on a few things . . .

1. Still healing. Feeling pretty good. Still slow, but getting faster. FirstHusband and I went to Sam’s Club and Walmart together on Saturday and he said I wasn’t annoyingly slow, just a little slow. I leaned on pushed the basket a lot. I get really tired by the end of the day if I’m too active during the day. So. I’m still a bit of a wimp. Thankfully, I’m allowed in my dry sauna now, so that is a WONDERFUL THING. I LOVE my dry sauna.

I wish I could stretch. I mean REEAALLY stretch. Like a cat. When our cats stretch I want to throw things at them to make them stop. It’s not nice that they do that in front of me.

I wish I could sleep comfortably. I mean like I did before the surgery. Hunker down and sleep HARD comfortable, you know?

I wish could get a massage, but I’m still too afraid to lay on my stomach or let anyone even come close to touching my new scar. My back hurts all the time from wearing the compression binder all day. Four weeks down, two more weeks to go.

2. I’ve been reading C.S. Lewis. Really for the first time. I’ve read The Screwtape Letters, but that was over a decade ago and that was fiction. I’ve read excerpts and quotes, but this is the first time I’ve read an entire book by C.S. Lewis. My first pick? “The Problem of Pain.” I’m still working out my thoughts on the paradox of evil and suffering vs. a loving, all-powerful God. Learning a LOT. Making many handwritten notes. And a list of words I need to look up in the dictionary. Like “filial.”

3. Spending a lot of time writing in my prayer journal. About everything. Reading my Bible. Spending time sitting still and shutting up after writing/praying. Listening. Learning. Thinking.

4. Still praying and struggling with what to do about the praise team at my church. Thursday night at 7pm, I went to my first rehearsal since my surgery. The interim leader/director who originally asked me to sing with the group was out of town. By 7:25 p.m., the rehearsal still hadn’t begun. Then, the director of the rehearsal that night, a new full-time hire who plays guitar, started noodling and singing on his own. About 7:45 p.m., 45 minutes after the rehearsal was supposed to begin, we started to sing.

The sound was . . . significantly less than optimal. Rather than go over any parts or run through the songs again, the director moved on. In the end, I said I wasn’t ready to sing with the group on Sunday. Everyone assumed that I wasn’t feeling up to singing quite yet. True. In a way. I attended the traditional service on Sunday morning instead of the contemporary service, so people wouldn’t wonder why I was sitting out.

I’ll admit, I’m discouraged and confused about the direction of this service and what role, if any God wants me to take. There’s another new full-time hire scheduled to arrive next month, so the entire thing is still in transition. I’m taking it a week at a time. Today, I prayed that God would make it VERY CLEAR whether I should sing with the group this week.

5. Summer has begun and we are actually on track for the daily summer plan. The kids are reading a minimum of 30 minutes every day and they are both physically active every day (they are in the pool right now). FavoriteSon has been practicing the guitar nearly every day and PinkGirl had her most productive piano practice today. (I can’t play, but I do remember my scales, so that’s what I’m teaching her.) She hasn’t been consistent with her daily math, but I’m working on it. We’ve been pretty consistent with a 20 minute rotation of playing/working during the day. My oven timer is getting a serious work out.

6. The kids and I have all gone to the dentist for cleanings in the last week and (unfortunately) PinkGirl had her first filling today. She did GREAT. We go to a pediatric dentist and LOVE him.

7. We got a Wii! FavoriteSon, the family money hoarder has been saving his money for months and decided that he wanted to have a boy/girl birthday party in a few weeks and he wanted Wii to be one of the main activities. So he bought himself an early birthday present. Our family was ready for a Wii. My dad came over on Sunday afternoon after church and he even played. Just one more way to get the kids to be active during the day.

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Join in with your own 7 Quick Take Friday post at Conversion Diary hosted by Jennifer!

use your OUTSIDE voice!

I was reading one of the blogs I follow and this memory came flooding back.

We were at a track meet. Outside. Under a clear blue sky. The sound system blaring every time the announcer listed the race winners. Track meets last HOURS. We wait and wait and wait to watch FavoriteSon run for less than 12 seconds, then we wait and wait and wait for him to run for 26 seconds . . . It was, you know, a track meet.

PinkGirl gets bored. As I would if I were 8 years old and had to hang out at my big brother’s 3 to 4 hour track meet. So I let her play and check in with me every once in a while. Thankfully, she always finds the fun and usually makes a new friend or two. When the high jump and pole vault events are over I can usually find her on the giant landing pad with a group of kids.

This particular day, one of her classmates, who has a big sister who runs track, came to the meet. They were under the bleachers, playing. Giggling. Squealing like 8 year old girls tend to do. They were DIRECTLY beneath me and the other girl’s father.

Let me give a little background, here. The other girl, who I’ll call ChurchMouse, was invited to PinkGirl’s birthday slumber party back in November. Since I somehow have the ability to completely tune out kid noise that tends to drive other parents insane, (it’s true. I don’t know how I do it, but I do.) I let the girls get as loud as they wanted while they played. At one point, I heard a squeal/scream that penetrated even MY noise threshold and I said, “Was that CHURCHMOUSE?” I had NEVER heard that child before. You ask her a question and you have to lean in for the answer. She’s quiet. Polite. And I know why. I’ve seen her mother interact with her. Zero tolerance for . . . here’s the way I explained it to Pinkgirl:

“ChurchMouse’s mom is just more comfortable with kids who sit still and be quiet. But I need to tell you something. You are a very enthusiastic and curious girl and I don’t want you to sit still and be quiet. If you did, I would be very bored. So if you want to sing and dance, sing and dance. But if you are ever around ChurchMouse’s mom and she wants you to sit still and be quiet, please respect her and obey her while you are around her. But when you come home, don’t ever think that’s what mom and dad want you to do.”

So, back to the track meet. You know, the one OUTSIDE, with all the noise, and the girls playing under the bleachers. There’s a squeal/screech, followed by giggles. ChurchMouse’s father leans down and calls under the bleacher for ChurchMouse to “settle down.”

Settle down? At a track meet? WHY is this necessary? NOBODY on the bleachers seems to care a flip, if they even heard anything in the first place. I say NOTHING to PinkGirl. I consider the possibility that because I didn’t admonish MY daughter, he thinks my parenting is . . . lacking.

And yet, I am unmoved.

A few minutes pass. Then the girls must have overrun his noise threshold again, because he repeats the leaning “settle down” warning and ads a consequence. ChurchMouse will have to come and sit with him. Which means PinkGirl wouldn’t be able to play with her.

So I look at the dad and ask, “Would you be more comfortable if they were quiet, you big fun sucker?” (okay, I said “you big fun sucker” in my head. But hey, it made me feel better.)

He pauses. He looks at me as I walk down the bleachers toward the girls, but doesn’t follow me. At the edge of the bleachers, I see the girls and call PinkGirl over so he can’t hear me talking to her from above. I tell PinkGirl that they should probably move out from under his seat or ChurchMouse will get in trouble and have to go sit with her dad.

We’re inviting ChurchMouse over for play dates this summer and I’m going to let her use her outside voice.

Even inside.

summer already?

Yep.

One more full day of school (Tuesday) and two more half days (Wednesday and Thursday). That’s it. Then “Mayhem” is officially OVER for us!

Early!

So here, at the BEGINNING of summer are the:

GOOD THINGS:
No more crack of dawn alarm clocks!
No more struggle from bed to shower to breakfast to car every morning!
No more car line!
No more packing lunches the night before!
No more laying out clothes the night before!
No more packing backpacks the night before!
No more permission slips!
No more fundraisers!
No more check writing for this and that, and this and that.
(FirstHusband calls it the death of a thousand paper cuts.)
No more multiple trips to school in one day.
No more HOMEWORK!

Every summer, I like the kids to tackle LEARNING something. Because – if left to their own devices – they would completely VEG in front of video games and television while constantly complaining about how BORED they were. So here are:

THE PLANS:
Minimum of 1/2 hour of LEARNING every day
PinkGirl has decided to continue learning computer keyboarding and math everyday. We like online typing games. We also got our own copy of her 2nd Grade math book last summer and we are ordering our own copy of her 3rd Grade math book this summer.
FavoriteSon has decided to continue learning to play the guitar. I think he should learn something else too. Poor guy. He doesn’t know yet.

Minimum of 1/2 hour of READING every day.
PinkGirl has decided to start with her BoxCar Children books.
FavoriteSon has no preference so FirstHusband and I have picked some out for him to start:
The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel and Slaying the Dragon: How to Turn Your Small Steps to Great Feats by Michael Johnson.

Minimum of 1/2 hour of physical activity every day:
PinkGirl has the redneck pool (photo HERE), so that’s not usually an issue, except for rain.
FavoriteSon has some sports camps, but on the days he doesn’t, he has committed to strength training and basketball. I’m committed to getting back to a two minute plank before he can do one. He knows I can’t do any strength training until after June 16th, so he’s slacking.

So, learning, physical activity and reading. What else? Any ideas?

I’m thinking I might “strongly encourage” each of them to plan and cook a meal or two, or four per month. It rains every afternoon in the summer anyway, it’s not like we’ll be in the pool at that time of day.

Let’s finish up with a preview of a few GOOD things about summer being OVER:

I will be able to complete a thought.
I will be able to hear clocks tick in the solitude I will have been deprived of for nearly 3 months.

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Find more ideas over at Works for Me Wednesday, hosted by Kristen at We Are THAT Family.

Works for Me Wednesday posts prior to February 2009 are archived at Rocks In My Dryer

faith in a vacuum is easy. (a loving God. evil and suffering. part 2.)

I’m not worthy. How can I reply to you? I’m putting my hand over my mouth. I’ll stop talking.
Job 40:4

I know that you can do anything. No one can keep you from doing what you plan to do. You asked me, Who do you think you are to disagree with my plans? You do not know what you are talking about.’ I spoke about things I didn’t completely understand. I talked about things that were too wonderful for me to know.
Job 42:2-3

This is one of what I’m sure will be many posts on the seeming contradiction between a loving God and the presence of evil and suffering in the world.

In a comment on my previous post – the first on this topic, Lisa of Lisa Writes gave me a book referral: John Piper’s Spectacular Sins. I read pages 22-26 on Amazon’s “Look Inside.” Here’s a very short excerpt:

“Surely this Jesus can stop a tsunami, and make the wind blow a jet off its deadly course toward a crowded tower, and loosen the stranglehold of an umbilical cord from around an infant’s neck, and blind the eyes of torturers, and stop a drought. Surely he can do this and a thousand other acts of restraint and rescue. He has done it before. He could do it now. What is his reason for not doing it more often than he does?”

“What is his reason for not doing it more often than he does?”

This is only one of the questions I’m delving into as I explore this topic. Not so much for myself, to assuage my own grieving or anger or other emotion which can so quickly and easily find itself into the heart of humans today, when faced with evil and suffering. As I said in my first post, I want to be able to formulate an intelligent response which adequately, logically, PRAGMATICALLY addresses the question AND the objections to the pat, theological answers. More specifically, I want to be able to articulate this response to someone who may not believe the Bible to be the Living Word of God.

In theory, Christians are easier. Christians are pre-disposed to understand and accept (maybe not agree, but accept) Biblical support I might point to as I try to explain my own personal view and understanding. My background is seeping in here, but I think of it this way: In communication theory, specifically in persuasion, this is referred to as a “latitude of acceptance.” If someone is more likely to accept an idea, they are said to have a latitude of acceptance. If someone is more inclined to reject an idea, they would have a latitude of rejection. If someone is open minded and has no pre-conceived idea or prejudice on a topic, they are said to have a latitude of non-commitment. As a Christian, I have a latitude of acceptance for any Biblical support provided in a persuasive effort. It has to be sound Biblical support, taken IN context, but for the most part I will look to the Bible for my reasoning. (And I’m no stranger to looking up the meaning of original language).

For example, as a Christian, here’s a HUGE reason why I personally accept God’s sovereignty with regard to evil and suffering in the world:

The Book of Job, Chapter 38:1-40:4 (see my responses in parenthesis)

38:1 The Lord spoke to Job out of a storm. He said,

2 “Who do you think you are to disagree with my plans? (ummm)
You do not know what you are talking about. (yeh, but . . . )
3 Get ready to stand up for yourself. (uh oh)
I will ask you some questions.
Then I want you to answer me. (k)
4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you know.
5 Who measured it? I am sure you know! (you did)
Who stretched a measuring line across it? (you did)
6 What was it built on?
Who laid its most important stone? (you did)

8 “Who created the ocean? (you did)
Who caused it to be born? (you did)

11 I said, ‘You can come this far.
But you can’t come any farther.
Here is where your proud waves have to stop.’
12 “Job, have you ever commanded the morning to come? (no, Lord.)
Have you ever shown the sun where to rise? (no.)

16 “Have you traveled to the springs at the bottom of the ocean? (no, Lord.)
Have you walked in its deepest parts? (no.)
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you? (no.)
Have you seen the gates of darkness? (no.)
18 Do you understand how big the earth is? (no, Lord.)
Tell me, if you know all of those things. (no, Lord, I don’t know any of these things.)
19 “Where does light come from? (you, Lord.)
And where does darkness live?
20 Can you take them to their places? (no.)
Do you know the paths to their houses?
21 I am sure you know! After all, you were already born!
You have lived so many years! (what was I thinking? questioning God?)
22 “Have you entered the places where the snow is kept? (I’m going to shut up now.)
Have you seen the storerooms for the hail?

24 Where does lightning come from?
Where do the east winds that blow across the earth live?
25 Who tells the rain where it should fall?
Who makes paths for the thunderstorms?

28 Does the rain have a father?
Who is the father of the drops of dew?
29 Does the ice have a mother?
Who is the mother of the frost from the heavens?

31 “Can you tie up the beautiful Pleiades?
Can you untie the ropes that hold Orion together?
32 Can you bring out all of the stars in their seasons?
Can you lead out the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper?
33 Do you know the laws that govern the heavens?
Can you rule over the earth the way I do?
34 “Can you give orders to the clouds?
Can you make them pour rain down on you?
35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
36 Who put wisdom in people’s hearts? (you did, Lord. Just now.)
Who gave understanding to their minds? (Thank you, Lord.)
37 Who is wise enough to count the clouds?
Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens?

Chapter 39
26 “Job, are you wise enough to teach hawks where to fly?
They spread their wings and fly toward the south.
27 Do you command eagles to fly so high?
They build their nests as high as they can.

Job Chapter 40
1 The Lord continued,

2 “I am the Mighty One.
Will the man who argues with me correct me?
Let him who brings charges against me answer me!”

Job’s Reply
3 Job replied to the Lord,

4 “I’m not worthy. How can I reply to you?
I’m putting my hand over my mouth. I’ll stop talking.

Job 42

Job’s Reply
1 Job replied to the Lord,

2 “I know that you can do anything.
No one can keep you from doing what you plan to do.
3 You asked me, ‘Who do you think you are to disagree with my plans?
You do not know what you are talking about.’
I spoke about things I didn’t completely understand.
I talked about things that were too wonderful for me to know.
4 “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak.
I will ask you some questions.
Then I want you to answer me.’
5 My ears had heard about you.
But now my own eyes have seen you. (emphasis added)

After SEEING the Lord, Job had no desire to debate. To question. To “yeh, but.”

Instead, after SEEING the Lord, Job said, “”I’m not worthy. How can I reply to you? I’m putting my hand over my mouth. I’ll stop talking.

Job took the words right out of my mouth.

God explaining the things HE understands to ME? I would be like explaining calculus to a 2 year old. My mind wouldn’t be able to grasp it.

But that’s just me. So, knowing that I have NO idea what I’m talking about, I instead trust God, much like a child trusts that his parents will care for him. The child doesn’t understand what’s involved in raising him, he’s just living in subjective self-awareness. Knowing that I have no CAPACITY to understand the things of God, I believe in God’s sovereignty. Now, this is not to say that when I’ve faced . . . difficulty in the past, that I didn’t grieve and struggle with God’s will. This is not to say that, facing tragedy in my future I won’t struggle and desperately beg God to grant me peace. I’m human. I’m weak. I need God. Which is kind of my point.

I trust in a sovereign God. I believe that He is a loving God, despite evil and suffering in the world.

So now what? Do I just say, “I’m good.” and be done with it? Or, when I encounter others who aren’t able to do that or who choose not to do that, do I step outside of my independent security? Do I reach out to OTHERS and, in compassion and with God’s love and hopefully, His wisdom, do my very best to help them see what I see? Do I say, “Well, I can’t understand the things of God, so I’ll just have faith and I’ll be fine.” and be done with it? Do I stand comfortable and secure in MY acceptance and understanding of Biblical truth or do I prepare myself to address the common arguments to my faith and the truths presented in the Bible? When faced with these arguments, these obstacles of faith, do I seek to understand the things he HAS revealed? The things I AM capable of understanding? Because there are SOME things I CAN wrap my mind around and be able to share.

If I make the effort. Faith in a vacuum is easy.

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There’s a cartoon about two turtles. One turtle says “Sometimes I’d like to ask God
why he allows poverty, famine, and injustice when he could do something about it.”
The other turtle says, “I’m afraid God might ask me the same question.”