PinkGirl: Part of Your World

This is one of the songs PinkGirl has been rehearsing for the last two weeks as part of “American Idol” day camp.

PinkGirl posted about it on HER blog too. And she LOVES comments!

I’m slightly proud.

I miss SPF2 Coppertone suntan OIL.

We’re trying to work out a week at Daytona Beach Ocean Walk Resort again in the next few weeks. Last summer, we stayed there for 5 nights. SO much fun! I posted photos and a kind of review last year. We loved the fact that everything we wanted to do was within walking distance. We parked the van in the garage when we got there and didn’t get back into it until the day we checked out. The beach, two pools with a lazy river, entertainment complex with movies, restaurants, shops and across the street a water park, arcade, laser tag, go carts, mini-golf and the BEST? A SPA at the hotel that accepted the Spa Finder gift certificate I won at a Christmas party, so I even got a massage! GREAT vacation. Bought it on eBay. Seriously. GREAT deal.

I’m a Florida girl. I went to the beach on Saturdays, some when I was in high school, more when I was in college. I remember I parked my car on the beach at New Smyrna once. (It was allowed back then.) Hung out with friends all day. Then the tide came in. Not good. The tires did not budge. Not good. No cell phones back then. Just lots of freaking out about how much trouble I was going to get in and how I was going to get the car home with an engine full of salt water. Thankfully, lots of tanned, good looking guys, drippin in machismo, surrounded my Mustang and pretty much lifted it out of the sand and back a few feet before it was completely water logged or dragged out to sea and turned into an artificial reef. What? I was 16. I thought it could happen.

So I’ve been to the ocean a few times. Mostly the east coast of Florida. Daytona Beach, Cocoa Beach, Cape Canaveral, Jetty Park, New Smyrna . . . I love the beach. Kinda. Here’s a few things I’ve learned about myself:

I DON’T like swimming in the ocean. I’ve gone in far enough to STAND and catch a wave with a boogie board or a raft, but actually SWIM in the ocean? No. Riptides. Fish touching my legs. The movie Jaws. eek.

I DO like walking, basking, sleeping and reading on the beach. I know I’m not supposed to sleep and bask – skin cancer – I know. I don’t really do it anymore. We all lather up SPF50+ now. But the days of SPF2 Coppertone Suntan OIL? I can still smell it. The deep brown skin and bleached blond hair from a bottle of Sun In spray? Good times. Good times.

I DO like sitting on the beach, building sand castles and sand . . . stuff. Digging trenches. Burying my feet and legs. Digging up sand crabs for bait. Sand fills up in your bathing suit bottom and you have to trudge out to the ocean at least waist deep and do a little dance, hopping nobody has goggles and can hold their breath for a long time.

I DON’T like going to the beach for the DAY. The 60 to 90 minute, sand in my pants, wet bathing suit, sticky skin drive home is miserable. HATE that.

I LOVE going to the beach when we stay overnight. Spending the entire day outside in the sun and sand and getting to take a shower IMMEDIATELY after. Then going out for a bucket of Cajun shrimp and ICE cold beer at Bubba Gumps. Then waking up the next and doing it all over, but with different sea food at the end of the day? Like maybe blackened mahi mahi? Oh, now why did I go there? I’m ready for vacation now.

I LOVE sitting out on the balcony of a hotel at night, listening to the surf and (hopefully, if the moon is right) watching the waves.

I DO like walking on the beach at sunrise and sunset. Breathtaking.

I DO like riding out the channel at Cape Canaveral in a boat EARLY in the morning. You can actually FEEL the tension sliding off your back behind you as you get farther away from land.

I especially like standing on the top deck of a Disney Cruise Ship as it makes its way down the channel.

I DON’T like walking on the beach at night. The scurrying little sand crabs freak me out. If I walk at night, I want a flash light. A BIG one.

oh. And my final DON’T like? Shaving my legs the same day I’m going to the ocean. ow. ow. ow. ow. Shave the night before. Trust me.

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To find out what others learned this week, check out What I Learned this Week hosted by Musings of a Housewife.

Thanks, Kristin for inspiring this post!

at FirstHusband’s request.

It has been suggested to me (more than 50 a few times) that I should confess the “real” reason I was not discharged from the hospital until late Sunday afternoon.

I, of course, choose to believe that had I NOT spiked a fever on Friday night, all would have gone much more . . . smoothly.

(FirstHusband. Are you happy now?)

In all fairness, here’s what a great guy I have:

1. He has been THERE for me, really THERE for me, through everything. A CONSTANT support. EVERYTHING I need. Random doctors and nurses said things like “He’s a keeper.” and “You’ve got a great guy.” to which I replied, “oh, I KNOW I do.”

2. He and I have developed an excellent system to get me out of a hospital bed when my gut is full of stitches. Easy and relatively no pain. This system is borne from experience. He’s been there for me before, more than a few times.

3. He ordered all my “food” in the hospital and turned my cream of wheat into choco-wheat every time. Brought me good coffee from home every day and successfully doctored the one cup of Starbucks I had to drink with a packet of hot chocolate mix.

4. Made sure my water bottle always had room temperature water in it and kept my ice chip cup refilled, AND got me to the bathroom on time, every time. Painlessly.

5. He read aloud to me for days.

6. He walked and walked and walked with me as I pushed my IV stand around the hospital floor.

7. Made me the homemade coughing splint Linda told us about.

8. He helped me take a shower, helps me empty my drains, and rubs my back in just the right spot.

9. Is tracking every single medication I’m taking on a computer spreadsheet because there’s just too much of it and some of it makes me forget things – like what I took and when.

10. Called me last night to ask what color nightgown I wanted when he was out at Target, picking up a few things.

11. Selflessly and immediately released any claim to his bonus this year to finance my tummy tuck add-on surgery.

12. Keeps telling me how good I’m going to look and how happy I’m going to be the the results – and how happy HE’S going to be with the results – when I’m healed, stitches-free and walking upright.

just replace the last word . . .

. . . in this video with HYSTERECTOMY.

This just makes me feel better.

distraction #1: Doofenshmirtz & “enator”

I’ve decided to focus on other things besides surgery. These other things do not need to be meaningful in any way. I might even read a fiction book. I know. FICTION. Recommendations? It needs to be very, very engaging so my mind doesn’t wander back to H-Day.

PinkGirl and I hit a moving sale on the way home from softball this morning and picked up a princess tent for $3.00. It is currently assembled in the family room (Thank you very much. I am tent impaired.) in front of the TV. Softball was HOT and we are staying inside for a while to dry cool off.

Watching Finnias & Ferb on the Disney Channel. Professor Doofenshmirtz is a guilty pleasure. He always has a “scheme” to “destroy” things in the “Tri-State area” with contraptions ending in “enator.”

Today, he will “DESTROY ANYONE WHO CAN’T MAKE UP THEIR MIND!” with the “Makeupyourmindenator.”

Beware.

Where do you buy a giant snow globe anyway? I wonder if he’ll be charged return shipping.

I can’t help it. I just like the guy.

“enator” is now officially part of my personal idiom collection.

I only eat chocolate when . . .

. . . I’m a little stressed out.

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Need a few more chuckles today? Check out Friday Funnies hosted by Homesteaders Heart!

If you’ve got time to hang out for a few minutes, check out what else makes me laugh: Pragmatic Compendium’s “laugh!” category.

Check out Would You Like Chocolate With That? hosted by Lisa at Stop and Smell the Chocolate

If you’ve got a few minutes, check out my previous chocolate posts.

Word-Filled Wednesday: Colossians 1:17

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
Colossians 1:17 (NIV)

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Join in Word-Filled Wednesdays hosted by Amydeanne over at The 160 Acre Woods!

Then Sings My Soul Saturday: How Deep The Father’s Love For Us.

I’ve been singing this all week, rehearsing. The Praise Team will be singing it for the first time on Sunday. (I am SO happy we are singing a song with WORDS! and they’re not all the SAME! And they MEAN something!)

I love this version by Phillips, Craig and Dean. The bongos are such a peaceful addition. It’s been like a mini-devotional for me. Multiple, multiple, multiple times a day. Every day. Especially with all I am thinking about this week.

“How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection”

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT)

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For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.

a loving God. evil and suffering.

I’ll be thinking via my fingertips today. Given the extent of the topic, I’m sure I’ll rinse and repeat so additional thoughts and insights are very much sought after.

I’m reading The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel. (Click HERE for his youtube testimony.) In this book, Strobel attempts to “investigate” the most common obstacles to the Christian faith. He calls these obstacles “the Big Eight.” I’m reading about Obstacle #1.

“Since Evil and Suffering Exist, a Loving God Cannot.”

Why am I reading this? I was led. Compelled. There are so many struggling. Suffering. All ages, genders and walks of life. Suffering physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially. Children died this week. Children die every week. A young mother at my church lost her battle with cancer the day before a friend who defeated stage 4 breast cancer got her breast reconstruction.

I pray. For people I know, and people I don’t. I pray for strength and comfort. For peace.

I pray because I personally believe a loving God does exist, despite the evil and suffering in the world. But in my prayers, unspoken, was always “Why?”

My auto-pilot answer was “Have faith in God.” But in truth? I had nuthin. Except that whole “then we shall see face to face” thing. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

If there is a loving God, why is there pain and suffering in the world?

I’m 44, for crying out loud. I’ve been a Christian for nearly 30 years! I should to be able to ANSWER THE QUESTION instead of mumbling words like “sin” and “test of faith” and “God’s will” and “free will” or quoting scripture to Christians, agnostics and atheists alike. Scripture. Not a credible resource for agnostics and atheists. Quote the Bible if it makes you feel better, but when I’m talking to someone who doesn’t believe the Bible to be the Living Word of God, or to a person who doesn’t even believe in God, I need to approach the conversation in a different way. God can use other books and resources besides the Bible. He can use a sunset, a song or an impossible coincidence. He can even use my personal experience and fallible human intellectual understanding. He is that good. (I just need to gain some intellectual understanding and identify my personal experience.)

Besides not being able to intelligently articulate a reasonable response when talking to others, I personally didn’t like not having answers to the “why” question and the “how can there be a loving God” question. And I believed there were answers. Just because I didn’t know what they were, didn’t mean there weren’t any. This week, I found myself no longer comfortable just believing and trusting in God and accepting suffering without question. (Which I did, by the way.) For some reason, I’m at a place in my life where I want to know WHY I believe what I believe about this issue and be able to explain myself to Christians and non-Christians alike.

Wait. Don’t go off and comment yet, telling me “the” answer. Bear with me. I want to work through this one pragmatic step at a time. I’ve had discussions with “strong” Christians, “longtime” Christians, pastors and FirstHusband. I’ve read the Bible, commentaries, and books. Nothing seemed REASONABLE. The Christians were often patronizing and/or vague, attributing my doubt – or questioning or whatever you want to call it – to a lack of faith or an immature Christian. Because they really believed I lacked faith or was immature? Or to cover up the fact that they themselves weren’t able to effectively articulate an answer either? Back then, I believed it was me. After this week? Not so much. Because I found two authors who were able to articulate their reasoning in a way that resonates with me. It’s not that they “told” me the answer to these questions so much as they rounded up many of my thoughts on the matter (conscious and not) and were able to lay them out in an organized, reasonable way.

Let me back up a bit, before the resonating, and answer a likely question. What have I been doing all these years, with this seeming contradiction between suffering and a loving God?

Years ago, FirstHusband gave me the thought that allowed me to let the contradiction rest – until now. In discussing why a loving God allows human suffering, we had a lot to talk about. In the end, it was this:

Could it be (I said COULD) that one (I said ONE) reason people suffer is so the world can see the difference between how a Christian and a non-Christian deals with the suffering? The theory is that Christians have a hope, strength, peace and comfort that comes from God. Now THAT, I’ve seen. On more than one occasion. And so have you.

But what about non-Christians who approach adversity with a seemingly positive outlook? What about non-Christians who overcome obstacles to make things better or inspire us? Randy Pausch never professed Christianity. Neither has John Walsh. Both remarkable men, who, when faced with tragedy, responded much like we expect Christian men would. And what about the Christians who react to tragedy with anger, blame God or who fall apart and shut down? Non-Christians blame God, fall apart and shut down. It can go both ways.

So I personally choose to believe that there IS a loving, all-powerful God despite the seemingly contradicting evidence of evil and suffering present in the world. For years, I’ve been able to fumble around the God-speak, quoting scripture and using words like faith, free will, sin, and God’s Will, but I’ve never before formulated an intelligent response which adequately, logically, PRAGMATICALLY addresses the question AND the objections to the pat, theological answers.

Faced with the multiple tragedies of the death of her uncle and and her aunt’s diagnoses of Alzheimer’s disease and terminal cancer, Lee Strobel’s wife said:

“If someone thinks he can wrap everything up in a neat little package and put a fancy theological bow on it, go somewhere else.”

I don’t want to be “someone” or “go somewhere else.” So, here are some questions and issues I’m going to work through:

Is evil evidence FOR God?
If God is all-POWERFUL, why doesn’t He stop or lessen suffering?
What does “less” suffering mean anyway?
If God is all-KNOWING, what does He know that we don’t?
How can we say that God is good when He allows evil and suffering?

What other questions or issues do you see?

Then Sings My Soul Saturday: We Shall Behold Him

There are certain songs . . .

The great Satchmo, singing “What a Wonderful World” on Thanksgiving Day.

The Walt Disney Candlelight Processional Choir singing the “Hallelujah Chorus” at Christmastime.

And Sandi Patty, singing “We Shall Behold Him” at Easter.

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For more Saturday music, check out Then Sings My Soul Saturday every Saturday hosted by Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders.

chocolate strawberry bunnies

You may recognize the pink fingernails. I’ve posted videos from this lady before. She made chocolate Gobble Berries (turkeys) for Thanksgiving and spiders and ghosts for Halloween. Her level of patience is astounding.

Let me just state. My children will never eat bunnies such as these. This is way too close to crafting for me.

Besides, is it just me or do these bunnies look a little like rats? Their noses are way too pointy. Easter rats. No, that won’t catch on. Easter mice?

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If you have anything chocolaty to share, post and link to Would You Like Chocolate With That? hosted by Lisa at Stop and Smell the Chocolate

If you’ve got a few minutes, check out my previous chocolate posts.

tone, pace and accessibility.

Rehearsal last night wasn’t as bad as I expected. The music is definitely repetitive, and the lyrics sometimes mean abso-flippin-lutely NOTHING, but thankfully, this group didn’t repeat stuff more than 3 or 4 times. That said, there’s a new unexpected problem I have with the music now.

Tone and pace.

The tone is LOUD and the pace is FAST.

And I’m not saying that because I’m old and I just don’t like the music. I listen to a contemporary Christian radio station (Z88.3). I actually like punk rock to some extent. And our vehicles both have a preset to the classic rock station. One of my favorite walking songs is Dude Looks Like a Lady by Aerosmith. (GREAT walking beat). I’m not saying LOUD and FAST because I like soft and slow. Anne Murray is not on my mp3 player.

So, that established. The tone and pace of the music is LOUD and FAST. What does that do for a church service? It’s choppy. There’s no time for reflection. There’s no transition from the hectic world they just drove through to get there and the inside of the sanctuary. The walk through the narthex is too short for that. It needs to happen DURING the service. Is there a reason they call it the “Praise” team at this church and not the “Worship” team? Because those two words are not interchangeable.

FirstHusband was a music minister for over a decade in the first part of our marriage and he’s participated in planning more than a few worship services. One of the pastors taught him about tone and pace. Personally, my focus has always been on matching the music with the message as much as possible. I’ve taught speech, so the emphasis for me is supporting the message. “Supporting materials” as we call it in speech. So every time I’m asked to sing, I look for songs that enhance the message.

But FirstHusband is more about tone and pace. Flow. A warming up, a building up, a peak, a cool down. For example, throwing the announcements in the middle of the service always screeches the pace to a halt. I get it a little. I’m learning. And last night was a big data point for me. This music is so fast it’s sometimes difficult for me to keep up – if I want to breathe correctly. I breathe using my diaphragm when I sing and after two hours of rehearsal, I’m physically tired. Singing is almost like exercise when you do it properly. I was working extra hard last night.

Will the congregation keep up? I’m going to be watching to see if they do. Because another thing FirstHusband said was that the music has to be “accessible” to the congregation. I TOTALLY get that. Last Sunday, I sang the first verse of “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me. (That one wasn’t too fast.) It was a praise team song, leading the congregation, but the congregation wasn’t singing. They were just watching, like I was singing a solo. After the first few words, I actually had to SAY, “Join Me.” to get them to sing.

Tone and pace. Accessibility. This is making a lot of sense.

I wonder what the new music minister will do.